Workloads

Hi again.

I'm in tense with work. Tension nak siapkan on time. Due on 31st January 2020. I have every bit of regret for the time I did not use to do the Lampiran M4. okay so this blog going to be a bit of a diary. But i hope this is not boring or became too emotionally expressed. Just wanna release my tension by writing it out. i hope to be more like a journal. Hoping people wont read this blog. and worst judge. i mean no harm. at all.

So.. did i really wasted my time on not doing this early? i did use the time to do work instead of playing, mind my own things, or surfing my phone. somehow time just envied me. i realized i took longer time doing things and i usually have careless mistakes, but hey, how could people do work very focused and accurate? i seldom had those, and im jealous of people who always produces work in such way. do i really wasted time? i dont think so. did i not focused? 30 % yes but did ive been delusional? perhaps. how could time passes me by quietly and fast?

if people must know. my thinking rate right now, the normal rate, is slow. to some people. i thought it would go well when time passes by. but the more im with me. the more it is I am. amende aku cakap ni. well alot of people would say, mine is slow. blurred. as they say. how im supposed to explain that. people expect me to fasten it. but i couldnt. the more i fasten it, the more chaos its going to be. im accepting my mind as what it is. once i tried putting effort of not being blurry, not being delayed, i usually facing carelessness again. if im taking times, sweet time, the person thinks im lazy or wasting time. well im not. how could explain this thing about my mind. when i tried to fasten it, i got nervous and anxious. im afraid of the mistakes i would made. then people judged my mind were too fast, crazy to be thinking affirmly. then how is my mind supposed to be? i dont understand. i'd literally just explain how lembab i am. hmm. i guess the one thing i could do, is try my best. my very best, hope for its to produce the best. hope it could affect the best, and the best it would be.